This has been a bit of a frustrating and frustrated time as an artist, and I find myself spending more time at the piano and guitar practicing than in my studio.Concrete encouragement has been a bit thin on the ground, but I find myself back to it this week, although a bit more subdued for now, and ready to bloom where I am planted. It is a great fault of mine, I think, to overreach with any project, whether it be learning a piece of music or crafting a story or painting a picture . It can lead to interesting situations, but I think that is about all it lead to; whether something good is actually accomplished is a totally other thing.
Step in, yesterday, in the midst of failed projects, an old book about pen, ink and watercolor. It reminded me of several things I had forgotten: that small things can be beautiful and speak of G-d's beauty much better than my own high flown symbolism; that I love the medium of ink (except for the discoloration--I must get better pens!), and that I need to look at the good I can do here and now, and not worry too much about where it is going. It is like setting one's self adrift on a boat not knowing where, exactly one will end up and not caring either.
So, beginning again, duly humbled and well aware I have encountered another of my seemingly endless blind spots, I have to wonder how much good I could have done if I'd just looked around and not listened to the voice in my head, telling me I needed a label of what I "do". (In my defense, it IS usually a great icebreaker in social situations and I have used it myself.) So many pitfalls and so little time.
Off to find some pens with GOOD ink!
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